Pillsbury Doughboy may have eating disorder

Poppin’ Fresh, the diminutive doughboy shill for Pillsbury, may be suffering from a serious eating disorder, according to a recent analysis by health experts.

Based on his reported height (8 ¾ inches) and weight (14 oz.) the Doughboy’s calculated body mass index (BMI) is a mere 9.6, which puts him below that of even Mary Kate Olsen. By comparison, someone in a normal weight range has a BMI in the 18.5 to 24.9 range. Anything below 18.5 is considered “underweight.”

While we can’t speculate on the cause of this disturbing weight issue, some have tied it to the Doughboy’s purported use of laxatives. Others point to his HipHop lifestyle, often downplayed by his corporate patrons at General Mills.

Known as “Poppin’ F” among rappers, the 40-year old pitchman began freestyling in his commericals a few years back. Soon, rappers like OutKast and Kool G. Rap were paying tribute and, not long afterwards, there were rumors about East Coast involvement in the disappearance of the Doughboy's wife and kids. Then, a few years back, the Doughboy's own demise was reported in what turned out to be just another Internet hoax.

The Doughy White Guy has started a fund so Poppin' F can get help. To contribute, purchase a Doughboy t-shirt (available only in XL) from the Doughy White Guy blog. Cost is $20, which includes shipping & handling. For information, email me at TheDWG@aol.com. (DWG Weight: 233 lbs.)