This is the son of the Doughy White Guy. (And no, my nickname is not the Dough Boy...I am 5'3" and 102 pounds). Anyway, I'm writing about my dad, because he's gone away for a while. He sent me an email that said the following:
"Son, I am going to be gone for a while. As you know, I've been trying to lose weight and get healthy so I can be around for you and your sister. I've been going to the gym and eating granola, yogurt and berries for almost a year. I've managed to lose about 15 pounds, but the last couple months I've been stuck at the same weight. Then this week, I did something different and lost about 3 pounds. So I had to ask myself: What did I do different?
After thinking about it for a while, I remembered that I went out three nights this week to the Pickwick Pub and drank beer with friends. I won't say how many actual beers, but I will say I consumed about 3,000 calories. To top it off, I stopped by Yesterdog on the way home and had a couple of chilli dogs each night.
Well, I was feeling pretty badly about myself Saturday morning, so I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill for about 30 minutes, then lifted weights. I must have worked really hard, because I thought I was going to puke the whole time. I drank lots of water and when I was done, I walked over to the scale and stepped on it. My weight: 229 pounds. I double-checked because I had weighed in at 232 a few days earlier. Sure enough, I was down three pounds.
Well, son, it was a revelation. After all these months of working out and eating well, I'm finally losing big weight in no time by consuming beer and hot dogs (and going to the gym). It's a bit unconventional, I know, and there is no science to back it up. But I am willing to be the proverbial "lab rat" on this new theory. It could be my one contribution to humanity.
So starting today, I'm going to be devoting my time to the bar, the dog place and the gym. I'm going to push myself and expand my capacity for each. I've set a high bar: By Sept. 15, I want to be able to bench press 250, run a 5K in 25 minutes, drink a twelve-pack and polish off a Three Dog night. If I can do this, I believe I'll be down to 200 pounds in no time.
I've got my work cut out for me, but I believe I'm up to the task. It will be lonely, hard work and I'll miss you. Remember, I'm doing all this for you. Love, Dad."
